September 2, 2002
Dulles Airport


Victor Galindez sighed and shifted impatiently on his feet waiting for his one piece of luggage to appear on the damn carousel. He was tired and felt grimy with the three-day's growth of beard on his face and his rumpled clothing. All he wanted was to be home.

Okay, maybe not home alone with only some dead house plants and god knows how many months of dust, Victor thought to himself watching yearningly as a couple walked by chatting with arms wound around each other's waists. He watched them from the corner of his eyes as they moved to a position at the luggage carousel trading soft kisses.

He missed Austin, it was just that simple, Victor thought to himself as he finally saw his battered bag coming around the conveyer belt. He grabbed it and pulled it off before heading for the exit wishing he had someone waiting for him instead of knowing he was going to have to get a taxi home. Not that he didn't have plenty of money, but it would have been nice to have someone to talk to home on the way home. Much better than being alone with his thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several hours later
Galindez apartment



Victor toweled his hair dry before swiping the steam from the mirror in his bathroom so he could shave. He studied his longer hair wondering what Austin would think of it and if she would like it better than the short military cut.

The decision was made. As soon as he was shaved and dressed he was going to go looking for Austin and the two of them were going to talk. Even if it was only to say good bye, he wanted to talk to her face-to-face. As he spread the shaving cream over his face Victor let his thoughts drift back to September 11, 2001.

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9/11/01
JAG Headquarters...


"I've been advised by SecNav that I am to send all nonessential personnel home for the day. My feeling on that is that you're all essential to the running of this office. I'll give each of you the option of deciding if you wish to remain or not," AJ Chegwidden said looking around the table at his staff. Most looked shell-shocked. There was nothing about the beautiful fall day that gave a hint of the horror that had occurred in New York City and at the Pentagon.

"I don't know what else to say people...you're welcome to sit here as long as you'd like. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me."

Victor watched the Admiral walk out of the room then turned his eyes to Austin. "Would you like to go home Aus?"

"W-why? What am I going to do there?" She asked her voice cracking.

"It's okay...I was just asking," Victor murmured rubbing her arm ignoring the glare being directed at him by Loren Singer.

"Well, I, for one, am going to get back to work...there's plenty to be done. Gunny, I need you to come with me so we can discuss what I need you to be investigating."

"Can it wait just a minute Ma'am?"

"No...you are here to work Gunnery Sergeant, not hold her hand!" Loren Singer pointed out crossing her arms over her chest.

"Lieutenant Singer: Gunnery Sergeant Galindez has my permission to stay with Miss Bradford as long as he needs to. Your investigation is not so vital that it needs to be handled today," Mac said getting to her feet.

"Fine Ma'am, if that's an order."

"It is if it needs to be Lieutenant," Mac snapped striding from the room.

The rest of the people in the room filtered out until only Victor and Austin were left.

"Come on Aus, let's go to your office," he suggested tugging gently on her hand.

Austin stood up gulping in a deep breath her lower lip between her teeth. She took one step toward the door and stopped tears winding down her cheeks.

Victor stopped and turned knowing what he was going to see, but hoping against hope that he was wrong. She'd been in tears off and on ever since the first report on ZNN about what was going on. It was breaking his heart to see her like this and he wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her against his chest while he rocked her back and forth.

It's against regulations Galindez...you'll be looking at a reprimand, he reminded himself even as he stepped back to her side and pulled Austin against himself.

"I d-don't...don't understand," Austin whimpered nestling her cheek against Victor's chest.

"None of us do," He murmured in answer.

"I was just up on the observation deck of the World Trade Center last month...and I was at the Pentagon yesterday."

"I know," His stomach clenched at the thought that Austin might have been at the Pentagon this morning just as easily.

They stood in silence for several more minutes until Austin lifted her head and pushed away from him.

"We shouldn't be doing this here."

"If you need me I don't give a damn," He countered kissing her forehead.

"I do: I don't feel like going before the Admiral because Lieutenant Singer sees us like this," Austin smiled faintly as she spoke and stepped away. "I'm going to get back to work now."

As soon they stepped out into the bullpen Victor took his hand from around her waist and they parted, each intent on their own business. Austin was the first to leave, deciding to go home at 4 pm letting Victor know she'd be expecting him by 1900 for dinner at her place.

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2115 Zulu
Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia



Austin hung the phone up much harder than was necessary sniffing as her eyes narrowed. "Tell me it's none of my business..." she grumbled rising from the chair behind her desk to pace into the kitchen. She was tired of talking to the doctor's in charge of Bud's care.

At first they had been polite to her, but now they regarded her as nothing more than a nuisance. Not that Austin cared what they thought of her, her only concern was making sure Bud had the best care possible. Harriet tried to tell her it wasn't necessary, that everything would be all right, but Austin wasn't going to take any chances. As far as she was concerned it was her job to be sure any member of a military family with exceptional needs was taken care of. SecNav had tried to argue the point with her once, but hadn't gotten any further than having her walk out of his office and refuse his calls for a week until he apologized and gave her his permission to do as she saw fit with the Roberts' case.

A soft meow from the top of the refrigerator alerted her to the presence of her cat, Daisy, and Austin smiled reaching up to touch the small black paw that had appeared pulling her hand back quickly before the little cat could hook her.

"You're a rotten little thing," Austin cooed pacing to the kitchen window feeling restless. She was considering a long walk in the park when someone knocked on the door.

Outside the door, Victor hoped to himself that Austin wouldn't check the peephole before she opened the door. He was ready as soon as the door opened to jam his foot in so she couldn't just shut him out.

He sighed in relief to himself as the doorknob rattled and the door began to ease open.

"You!" Austin gasped in shock backing away from the door instead of slamming it shut. It continued to swing open allowing Victor to walk in.

"Hi Aus...I'm home," He replied softly closing the door behind himself to keep the small cat he could see peering around the corner from the kitchen in the apartment.

"You need to leave. You aren't welcome here any longer Victor. I don't have time for someone who would betray me the way you did," Austin whispered folding her arms over her chest to keep from opening them to him. Lord, she wanted to hug him and feel his strong arms close around her.

Her mind conjured a picture of her jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs securely around his waist and Austin felt a flush creep up her cheeks. Why did her mind have to sink into the gutter now?

"I'm sorry Aus-I never meant to hurt you. I didn't plan it: it just happened," Victor's soft voice dropped as he realized what his words sounded like. He was trying to make excuses for himself.

"It just happened!? I can't tell you how much better that makes me feel. God Victor, just go will you? Don't make this worse than it is."

He advanced a few steps noting she didn't move away from him though she did move her head away when he reached out to try and brush her cheek. "I missed you Austin."

She sighed deeply, arms dropping to her sides. "I've missed you too," she admitted. "It doesn't change anything, but I've missed you so much."

"Can I-would you mind if I gave you a hug?"

Austin shook her head holding her bottom lip tightly between her teeth as his arms encircled her, pulling her against his chest. She felt him shudder and press his face into the curve of her neck and shoulder, dropping a soft, quick kiss. She moved her hands up his arms finally running her fingers through his hair.

Feeling desire surge through him, making his snug jeans a shade snugger Victor released Austin regretfully and stepped back. "How have you been?"

"Fine...busy as usual. School is starting and I've been busy keeping Bud's doctors on their toes and trying to help Harriet out. How have you been?"

Victor shrugged. Compared to Lieutenant Roberts he was wonderful. "Have you seen Lieutenant Roberts? Mr. Webb told me what had happened in one of his visits."

"I've seen him," Austin confirmed. "He's doing as well as he can. It's tough. Harriet is holding up well."

Victor looked down at his feet dragging the toe of his shoe across the floor. "I know I don't have any right to ask you for another chance Austinbut please. Please give me one more chance?"

"I don't know Victor."

"Just promise me you'll think about it."

She nodded. "Are you hungry? I was just about to have a snack if you'd like to stay for a bit."

"No, that's okay. I've taken up enough of your time. I should get going."

"Okay," Austin followed him to the door leaning on it as he walked out. "Victor: don't be a stranger: we do need to talk at some point."

Victor stood at the top of the stairs as the door closed listening as the locks were fastened while his mind drifted back again.

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1855 EDT
9/11/01
Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia...



"Aus?" Victor stepped into the apartment closing the door behind himself as the scent of  dinner wafted to him. His stomach rumbled reminding him that he'd been too keyed up to even think about lunch and he pulled off his coat and cover leaving them hanging on the hooks embedded on the wall.

"Hi Vic, why don't you go change?" Austin's voice sounded flat and strained to him as she called from the kitchen.

Not when you sound like that, He thought to himself as he walked into the kitchen. She had her back to him standing at the stove and he wrapped his arms around her from behind, dropping tender kisses in her hair. "Talk to me Aus."

"I made the mistake of turning on the TV when I got home. All they show over and over are the planes hitting the towers and the destruction," she sighed leaning back against him. "How are you?"

"I'm okay, better now that I can hold you as much as I want."

"You sure can Marinenow go change. I am not letting you get anything on that uniform. I refuse to have the "feminine-smelling" laundry detergent argument with you again," Austin ordered bumping back against him to get him to move away from her.

"It's not my fault your laundry detergent smells like it does," Victor grumbled in mock-anger backing off when Austin threatened him with a wooden spoon.

"Go change."

Dinner was pleasant if a little quieter than normal. Austin just didn't seem to have the heart to be her usual talkative self and Victor didn't want to force her. Today had been rough on everyone and all he wanted was a nice relaxing evening with her.

Not long after they had finished the dishes and settled on the sofa in the living room cuddled together there was a knock on the door. Victor went to answer it surprised to see Bud, Harriet and little AJ.

"Hi Gunny, we were just wondering if you and Austin wanted to go for a walk with us? We thought we'd walk to the park and let AJ play a little bit."

"You can call me Victor outside of JAG, Ma'am, Sir," Victor said ushering the couple in.

"Then you have to call us Bud and Harriet, Victor," Bud answered with a smile.

"Who was at the- Oh Hi Harriet!" Austin hugged her friend tightly feeling tears well in her eyes.

"Honey, you promised: no tears," Bud scolded shaking his head as both women began to cry.

"Au-Austin started it," Harriet sniffled stepping away from her friend so Victor could gather Austin against him crooning softly to her in Spanish as he rocked her back and forth.

"We came to see if you wanted to take a walk with us to the park, but I guess that's not such a good idea."

"N-No...I'd love to. W-we'd love to, right Victor?" Austin countered wiping her eyes as she looked up into Victor's face.

"Sure, if it's what you want," Victor smiled.

"It's nice to have another couple to do things with," Harriet commented once they were on the street, Bud pushing AJ in his stroller while Austin and Victor walked hand in hand behind them.

"I agree Ma'am...I meant Harriet."

"We'll get you trained yet Jarhead," Austin promised squeezing his hand

"I appreciate the slack you're cutting me," Victor answered sarcastically.

"No problem Gunny," Austin shot back with a grin.

"You wait until I have you alone again," Victor warned softly in Austin's ear.

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1000 Zulu
Street outside Austin's Apartment Building
Rosslyn, Virginia



Austin stood with her back to the street on the bottom step raising and lowering her body to stretch her calf muscles. She jumped from the step to the sidewalk shaking out first one leg than the other to see if she could wake herself.

She started down the street at an easy pace attuned to her surroundings.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Austin stopped dead in her tracks hand over her chest. "You scared me!"

"It isn't safe for you to be jogging alone AustinI thought we'd been over this?" Victor scolded softly.

Austin put her hands on her hips a scowl mounting on her pretty features. "You have no right to be following me! I'm not your whore from Afghanistan!"

"I deserved that,"  He winced dropping his head. "I just don't want to see something happen to you because you're out jogging alone. I'm not trying to interfere with your life."

"You live a half hour away Victorthere is no way you were just in the neighborhood," Austin commented in a less shrill tone.

"I saw your running shoes by the door yesterday and I worried you were jogging alone again."

"No one else lives close by. I'm perfectly safe. I have Pepper spray and I'm not afraid to use it," Austin answered thrusting her chin out belligerently.

"Honey, I walked right up in back of you and when you turned around you didn't reach for the spray," He moved a step closer to her.

"I recognized your voice."

"Aus, you can't jog aloneyou could get hurt" Victor gulped in a huge rush of air and let it out before continuing. "I don't want anything to hurt you."

All the defiance and belligerence went out of Austin in a rush and tears welled in her eyes trickling down her cheeks. Her lip quivered as she spoke softly. "You've all readyh-hurt me more than anything else everc-could."

"I knowI know and that kills me," he whispered reaching up to brush tears from her cheeks. "Auscan we start over again?"

"I-Imissedy-you" Austin whimpered nestling against his chest. "Th-thenB-Budandall I-I-could think ofwaswh-what I-if"

"Oh sweetheart, ShhhIt's okayI'm home now and we're going to build something new together," Victor promised softly lifting her chin to kiss her tears away.

"It's not that simpleyou betrayed my trust."

"Give me a chance Auslet me show you how I feel about you."

"We need to take it slowly VictorI need time to think this through."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Victor groaned as he woke up, neck stiff and aching from his spending all night sleeping in the arm chair in his living room. He'd tried the bed at first, but sleep eluded him there. Not that it had been much better in the chair.

He pushed to his feet, stretching and groaning more, twisting to relieve kinked muscles. He lifted the blind to look out the window noting the sun peeping over the horizon. No doubt Austin would be getting ready to go jogging, just like in his dream, but a brief conversation with Tiner the night before let him know he had no cause to worry. The Admiral was jogging with Austin in the morning now.

Tiner had also let him know about Austin and the Admiral going to the opera and the symphony several times together. That didn't bother him, not nearly as much as hearing that Austin had gone to dinner with Webb. That made his hands flex into fists and a snarl rise in his throat.

"Are you moving on Aus?" he asked the rising sun before lowering the blind and wandering toward the kitchen to make some coffee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1015 Zulu
Outside Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia



"I still say this is ridiculous...I'm a grown woman," Austin sighed rolling her eyes as she stood from the stoop where she'd been sitting when the Admiral's huge black SUV rolled to a stop and he stepped out.

"Humor an old man," AJ called used to her morning ritual. She always greeted him with a variation of the same complaint.

"Old?" Austin snorted as she stretched her hamstrings. "Someone who can run 5 miles without even breathing hard does not qualify as old."

"You'd be surprised."

"I doubt it," Austin tossed over her shoulder. "Let's go."

"As the lady commands."

Austin snorted again. "I can't believe you let me talk to you this way."

"You aren't under my chain of command...and you're a civilian," AJ smiled setting a fast pace for them as they moved down the street.

Austin lost herself in the rhythm of her movements, letting her mind drift back to Victor. Seeing him had felt strange and despite what she had expected she had gotten the best night's sleep she'd had in about a year. There was undeniably still something there between them, the question was whether to pursue it.

She wished she could talk to Harriet about it, but her friend had her own worries right now. It was unfair of Austin to even think of bringing this to Harriet. Maybe Mac would have some advice.

Austin had managed to forge a pretty good friendship with the Marine Lieutenant Colonel in the recent months. They had united first in their desire to help Harriet and Bud and discovered they had a lot in common. They'd spent one dull Saturday night rehashing all their relationship mistakes into the wee hours of the morning on Harriet's front porch after the JAG crew had formed a work party to do some upkeep on the house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"There's one big problem with men...it's illegal to shoot them," Austin grumbled.

Mac laughed. "Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em?"

"That's about right," Austin nodded draining her can of Diet Coke.

"But damn they are nice to look at," Mac giggled softly nudging Austin to get her to watch as Harm and Tiner walked by carrying trash bags to the curb.

"Mmm-the Commander has a nice ass...not as nice as Victor's...but nice for a squid," Austin laughed making the men look in their direction.

"A definite 9.5 on the great ass scale."

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1300 Zulu

JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

Victor stepped off the elevator sucking in a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. He was nervous about seeing the Admiral, but there was no way around it. He wanted to come back to JAG Ops. Not just to see Austin, but he had realized while he was in Afghanistan, that he was making a difference and serving his country at JAG.

"Plus, I'm too damn old to be sleeping on the ground," he muttered to himself shifting as his lower back complained at the stiff posture he had adopted.

He walked down the corridor toward the bullpen listening to the morning sounds. He could hear Tiner talking and then Colonel Mackenzie's answering voice. A smile crossed his features...it was going to be so good to work with his friends again.

"Well, well, well," Mac said as she saw Victor round the corner and enter the bullpen. "Welcome back Gunnery Sergeant."

"Thank you Ma'am," Victor answered with a salute snapping to attention. "It's good to be back. Is the Admiral in?"

"Indeed he is Gunnery Sergeant Galindez. Why don't you come into my office," AJ said leaning against the doorframe his expression unreadable.

"Aye, Aye Sir."

"Tiner, I am not to be disturbed."

Victor swallowed as he followed the Admiral. This didn't sound good.

"Close the hatch Gunny, then have a seat."

AJ took a seat behind his desk steepling his fingers as he watched Gunny become more and more nervous. Let him sweat a little bit, it would be good for him.

"Admiral Chegwidden Sir, I'd like to return to JAG Ops," Victor said deciding he had nothing to gain by being subtle.

"Really? I'm surprised."

"Surprised Sir? I don't quite understand."

"After what happened between you and Miss Bradford while you were in country I'm surprised you would want to return here." AJ laid it on the table wondering how Gunny would react.

"I made a bad mistake Sir. I wasn't going to compound it by running away. I spoke briefly with Miss Bradford yesterday afternoon. I know she's got other things on her mind now trying to help Lieutenants Roberts and Sims, I don't intend to make things harder for her. If my presence here is a problem then I will leave."

"Like hell you will Gunny-this place has fallen apart. I trust you and Miss Bradford not to let personal feelings interfere with your duties."

"Of course Sir," Victor nodded.

"Go get yourself a proper haircut Gunny...take the rest of the day off and I'll expect you here at 0800 tomorrow morning."

"Aye, Aye Admiral."

"Dismissed Gunny."

Austin had just stepped into the Bullpen when Victor walked out of the Admiral's office. She stopped admiring how good he looked in his uniform. "Good morning Gunnery Sergeant."

"Miss Bradford," Victor answered just as formally nodding to her.

"Will you be coming back to JAG?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"That's good. You belong here," Austin said with an enigmatic smile before she disappeared down the hall into the break room.

Victor considered following her, but decided against it. Austin deserved time and space from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1700 Zulu
Roberts' New Home



Harriet pulled to a stop in the driveway. She'd been expecting to see the house looking neglected and worse for the wear, but the yard was freshly mowed with the clippings obviously raked and bagged if the black bags by the curb were any indication.

Tears sprang to her eyes at the thoughtfulness of her friends. She couldn't believe the work they had gone to so when Bud was ready to come home he'd have somewhere inviting and welcoming to come. She stepped out of the vehicle walking to the back door and into the kitchen wiping her eyes at the clean smell that met her. They'd cleaned the inside too. She saw the note posted on the refrigerator and walked across the room smiling when she lifted it.

Hey!

Okay, stop crying Harriet. You knew we weren't going to just let the lawn grow out of control and the house get all musty. If it was one of us you'd be sure our places stayed clean and aired out. You and Bud are family and we love you both. Can't wait until we can throw a proper housewarming for you. You're in our thoughts and prayers. XXOO Austin, Mac, Harm, AJ, Sturgis, Jason

"Oh, we have the best friends ever," Harriet sighed carrying the note into the room she'd designated as the office, tucking it into the scrapbook she kept on her desk. She recognized Austin's handwriting, but she was sure the sentiment applied to every name on the note. Well, maybe the Admiral wouldn't have signed the notes XXOO, she thought chuckling. She wondered how Austin was. It had been so long since the two of them had just sat down and talked about anything other than Bud.

Not that Harriet minded a bit. She had been half-afraid when she told Austin her help wasn't necessary that Austin would back off. Harriet relied on her friend's strength and assertiveness to deal with Bud's team of doctors and therapists and sometimes Bud himself. Bud didn't mind letting Austin seem him at his worst and weakest and there were plenty of times it was a relief to Harriet to let someone else bear the brunt of Bud's mood swings.

She lifted the phone on her desk smiling as she punched in the number for JAG asking to speak with Austin as soon as Tiner answered.

"Hello. Austin Bradford. May I help you?"

"Hi Austin, it's Harriet."

"Harriet, hi! How are you? Where are you calling from?"

"I stopped by the house. You guys are the best. The house and yard look fantastic. Listen, I have a couple of hours free this afternoon. Would you like to go to lunch and just talk? My treat."

"I would love to. Why don't you meet me here at JAG. I know everyone is going to want to see you and I'd be an awful friend hog if I kept you to myself."

Harriet smiled. Austin was anything but a "friend-hog". She went out of her way to accommodate other people. "That sounds nice. I should be there within an hour."

"Okay. I'll see you when you get here."

*****************************************************

1845 Zulu
Nina's Grill
Washington DC



"I can't believe Gunny's back and you didn't call me Aus!" Harriet scolded swatting at her friend with her napkin.

"What's to tell?" Austin shrugged. "He's home. We talked briefly. He's coming back to JAG."

"Are you okay with that?" she queried softly hearing something in her friend's voice.

Austin shrugged again before spearing a piece of lettuce and popping it into her mouth. She chewed thoroughly aware of Harriet watching her with a skeptical look the entire time.

"Austin, you are evading the question."

"You're right, I was trying to. The truth is Harriet, I'm not okay with Victor being back. There's still a part of me that wishes he'd been the one to be hurt in Afghanistan. He's the one that deserves to have his life altered forever: not Bud."

Her friend's vehemence was shocking. Harriet was used to the calm, in control Austin who rarely lost her temper or even batted an eyelash at adversity. She reached across the table putting a hand on Austin's arm watching her stare at her lap. "It's okay to feel that way."

"I feel like a bitch for saying that though," Austin whined softly. "I just wish Victor had to pay for what he put me through."

"You don't know what's going on in his head Aus. I'm sure he's hurting about what happened."

"It's a moot point anyway. SecNav is talking about having my office moved closer to his."

"It will give you time and space that way," Harriet said cheerily.

"I guess...Can we please change the subject?"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2300 Zulu
Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia



"Remind me again why I thought this place was so great?" Austin spat in frustration as she slid out from under the kitchen sink groping for a towel to wipe her face. She'd decided to fix the clogged sink on her own instead of hiring a plumber and had gotten a face full of water for her troubles.

The cordless phone shrilled from its place on the kitchen table and Austin pushed to her feet forcing herself to calm down before she lifted the handset.

"Hello?" she winced at the hard edge she could still hear in her voice.

Nothing but silence greeted her query and Austin felt her temper crawl up another notch. Just what she needed: a telemarketer. "Hello?"

"Austin?"

Her anger evaporated and Austin sagged tiredly into a chair. Victor, of course. "What is it Victor?"

"I want us to talk Austin. I feel like there's too much hanging between us now and I think we need to talk."

"Now is not a good time," she responded flatly.

"I can tell by your voice...but if we wait...well, I'm afraid you'll bury all the things you want to say to me under manners and politeness. You'll bottle it all up and never be completely honest with me."

"Why would I owe you honesty Victor when you lied to me and betrayed me?" Austin snapped.

"Do you want to meet somewhere or should I come over?"

Persistent son of a bitch, aren't you Vic? Austin thought in exasperation as she rolled her eyes. Maybe it would do some good to let him have it, it didn't seem like he was going to give up any other way. "Fine. You can come here...we'll take a walk."

"Thanks Austin. I really appreciate this."

Don't thank me yet, Austin sighed to herself as she hung up without saying goodbye.

She went through the apartment to the bathroom stripping out of her wet clothes leaving a trail she would pick up after her shower. As tempting as it might have been to meet Victor smelling of  old, stagnant water Austin didn't think it was fair to the other people they might pass on their walk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour later



"I'm glad you agreed to talk to me tonight," Victor said softly as he held the door open for Austin.

"You didn't leave me much choice."

"I want us to clear the air."

"Fine! Let me make this very clear and easy enough that even a Marine like you can understand it. I hate you! I hate you for betraying me, I hate you for coming home whole when Bud lost a leg. I hate you most of all for making me still care about you." Austin hissed in his face ticking the list off on her fingers before backing away and starting down the street at a brisk walk.

"Oh yeah...that went well," Victor groaned before taking off after her.

"You can stop following me Gunnery Sergeant Galindez!" Austin spat back over her shoulder hearing his footsteps approaching.

"No I can't. No matter how you feel about me and what you think I still care about you and I'm not going to run the risk of you getting into a situation that gets you hurt."

"How convenient that you think of that now! Too bad it didn't occur to you when you were in Afghanistan screwing someone else."

"I know I hurt you"

Austin stopped in her tracks nearly getting bowled over by Victor as she turned to face him. "No: you've got that completely wrong Gunnery Sergeant. You didn't hurt me. You damn near destroyed me. I wanted to die after you told me what you'd done. I just wanted to die."

"I didn't want that Austin. I want another chance with you. Please?"

Austin let out a little choked laugh as she looked at his face. "My God...you really think I can do that? You really think I can just sweep it under the rug and forget it?"

His dark eyes just bored into hers as his hands reached out to grasp her arms leaving Austin feeling weak in the knees with the emotions swirling through her. Anger, wonder and a deep yearning want and need to believe him rolled through her erasing her awareness of anything else.

She sucked in a deep breath, tearing her eyes away from his fighting her way out of his grasp before she took off at a sprint. She ran mindlessly thinking only of escaping her emotions and feelings.

"Austin! STOP!" Victor yelled racing after her. He could see the fissure in the sidewalk from a tree root pushing to the surface under the concrete and knew if she didn't stop she was going to trip.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Austin sobbed as the toe of her sneaker caught in the crack. Her left knee snapped back at the sudden stop and her body sprawled to the ground.

"Aus? Tell me where it hurts," Victor said in a soft, soothing tone as he knelt down beside her trembling form.

"My knee...my left knee..." Austin shuddered almost glad for the pain in her knee and scraped palms. It made the feelings she didn't want to be having fade away at least. "I scraped my hands and knees too."

"I see that," Victor said softly. "Can you stand?"

"I don't know," Austin said in a bemused tone getting her right leg straightened then trying her left leg. The sharp stab of pain made her stop biting her lip hard to throttle a shriek. "Umm...n-nope-I c-c-can't."

"Okay, I'm going to have to carry you then Austin. You're going to need to trust me."

She nodded solemnly looking up at him while she wiped some tears from her cheek leaving a smear of dirty blood from her abraded palm. "This really hurts."

"I bet it does...you probably popped your ACL or something like that," Victor answered conversationally, deciding that if she was going to be calm about this so was he. "Okay, put your arms around my neck."

Austin did as she was told without comment letting Victor lift her in his arms and carry her back to his car. "I wasn't very nice to you...I'm sorry."

"You were honest with me about your feelings. That's what I wanted. Just relax for now. I'm going to bring you to the hospital to have your knee looked at," Victor told her easing her carefully into the front seat of his car, buckling her seatbelt for her.

*******************************************************

0412 Zulu
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland

 

Victor had just paced the nearly empty waiting room for the 122nd time when a nurse appeared in the doorway.

"Mr. Galindez?"

"That's me. How is Austin?"

"Resting comfortably at the moment. Captain Meredith has given her something for the pain and he'd like to see the two of you."

"Lead the way," Victor nodded falling in behind the nurse as she led him through the ER past curtained cubicles until finally she went in to the seventh one on the right. He followed  a smile touching his lips when he saw Austin.

"Hey--join the party," Austin giggled waggling her fingers at him. "But you have to get some of the drugs first. They're really good."

"I can tell. How do you feel?"

"Pretty darn good-even though you tried to break me," Austin whined sticking her lower lip out in a pout.

"I didn't want you to get hurt Aus," Victor reminded taking a seat on the stool by her gurney.

She turned her head away from him, closing her eyes with a sigh. The drugs were making it hard to think. At times she felt giddy and happy, then at others she could feel tears build behind her eyes.

The doctor walked in then and Victor immediately got to his feet, standing at attention before the superior officer even though it wasn't necessary for him to do so. "How is she Captain?"

"At ease: there's no need to stand on formalities here. I'm just Dr. Meredith for now," the man answered lifting Austin's chart from the counter. "She's torn her Anterior Cruciate Ligament and from the looks of the MRI it's a partial tear.  At this point I'm going to prescribe a brace for Miss Bradford to wear and set up a series of appointments with our Physical Therapy department. She will need to strengthen the surrounding muscles while the tear heals."

"I can go home?" Austin demanded.

"Of course. Walking up and down stairs is going to be a slow process and probably a little painful at first, but there's no reason for you to stay here. I'm sure Mr. Galindez will be able to help you for the first few days."

Austin blanched at the idea. "I'm sure I can manage on my own. Just give me the brace and tell me when my appointments are."

Dr. Meredith frowned briefly at the couple before he looked at Austin's chart again. He'd assumed the two of them were together. "Very well then. We'll fit you with a supportive brace, get you a pair of crutches and send you on your way. I will have a nurse call you later in the day to let you know when your PT appointments will be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

0525 Zulu
Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia



The ride back to her place had been silent, Victor glancing at her out of the corner of his eye while he drove. He pulled to a stop in front of her building and shut off the car before he turned to face her.

"I didn't mean for this to happen Austin. I just wanted to talk to you."

She nodded her head feeling groggy and disconnected thanks to the 800 mg Ibuprofen tablet swimming through her system. "I'm the one who ran...you aren't at fault for that."

"Yeah I am...I'm the one who hurt you in the first place," Victor sighed leaning his forearms on the steering wheel. "You know Austin, I wish I'd been hurt over there too...that I'd come back home maimed or in a pine box or something. Anything to just make you care about me again."

Austin reached over and touched his face gently. She wasn't exactly sure how she felt about him right now, but she knew she didn't want him dead despite what she'd told him earlier. "I never stopped caring about you Victor...never."

"So maybe there's a chance for us still?" He questioned hopefully.

"Maybe with time. Broken trust takes time and patience to rebuild," Austin yawned. "For now though I need to go up to my apartment and call the Admiral. I don't think I'm going to be jogging in the morning."

"Can I ask you something?"

Austin nodded wondering what Victor was going to ask.

"Do you...have...umm, do you have feelings for the Admiral?" Victor muttered feeling heat suffuse the back of his neck.

"He's a kind man and we both enjoy the symphony and opera. I don't have any romantic feelings for him if that's what you're asking," Austin answered biting back a smile before adding. "I don't have any feelings other than friendship for Clayton Webb either."

Victor nodded and opened his door getting out and walking around to Austin's side, opening the door and helping her out letting her lean on him while she found her balance with the brace and the crutches.

They maneuvered slowly inside the building where Austin looked in dismay between the stairs and the elevator.

"I hate taking that old thing," she whined.

"I could carry you up the stairs tonight, but you'll have to take the elevator tomorrow if you're planning on going to work."

"Of course I'm going to work...I just thank god I have an automatic so I don't need my left leg for the clutch or anything. I supposed I might as well try the elevator."

"I'll come with you."

"No," Austin said slowly as she looked up into Victor's eyes. "For right now I think it would be best if you just left. I appreciate all you've done for me tonight, but I still think it would be best for you to go."

"Yeah, yeah-I guess you're right."

Austin could see Victor's heart sinking by the forlorn look on his face. He was a good and decent man, even good men made mistakes. It didn't mean they had to pay for those mistakes forever. "You know what Victor-maybe I shouldn't be driving. Do you think you could pick me up in the morning? I know it's out of your way to come get me before you go to JAG, but if you wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't mind a bit," Victor answered with a slight smile tugging the corner of his lips up. "It would be my pleasure."

"All right then Vic, go home and get some rest. I'll see you at 0800."

"Sounds like a plan," He turned to go making to the door before Austin's voice stopped him.

"And Gunny: we will be having that talk you wanted to have very soon with no interruptions."

************************************************

1230 Zulu
Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia



Austin rolled over to look at her alarm clock gasping in shock to see the time. She'd slept through the alarm. Now she had a half hour to make herself look presentable and she felt like she was coming off a 3-day bender. She sat up trying to quickly throw her legs over the edge of the bed, stopping with a hiss when her left knee shifted the wrong way.

"So much for ACL injuries not being painful," she groused finally getting to her feet balanced on her crutches. She limped/hobbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, groaning at her face. She certainly looked like she'd been tossing and turning until the first hint of dawn had touched the sky.

"Damage control. I'll wash my face, brush my teeth, put my hair in a French braid and wear a long skirt so no one sees that I  haven't shave my legs recently."

Austin went about her routine as quickly as she was able finding herself exhausted and ill-tempered by the time she was dressed. Her face was still too pale, but there was no time for make-up now, she'd heard the knock on the door signaling Victor's arrival.

"Hey there," Victor said cheerily, his smile fading to a look of concern. "Aus, are you sure you want to go in? You look like you're in pain."

"Only because I overslept and I haven't had a spare second to swallow more Ibuprofen. Plus I haven't had any coffee, so now would be a piss-poor time to get on my nerves!" She snapped back catching the rubber tip of her crutches on the corner of the welcome mat. "DAMMIT!"

"Easy, easy Austin," Victor soothed taking her soft-sided briefcase from her putting the strap over his own shoulder. "Let me help you and I promise I'll stop and buy you some coffee on the way in."

"Okay," she mumbled softly feeling tears building in her eyes. She was tired and in pain and Victor was being nice to her. If he'd only tell her to suck it up she'd be fine, but him being nice to her was going to be her undoing. "C-could you feed Daisy too? I haven't had the chance and I don't want to starve her."

"Sure. Let me help you to the sofa and you relax a little while I take care of the cat," he thought of putting an arm around her shoulders and letting her lean on him to get to the sofa, but Victor changed his mind when he saw the weariness in her eyes and lifted her carefully. He lowered her to the sofa gently.

"There you go. You just sit right there. I'll take care of everything."

"If only I could believe that," Austin sighed softly as she watched him walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1400 Zulu
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

"Miss Bradford, Ma'am...What happened??" Tiner demanded loudly as Austin struggled into the bull pen.

Oh goodie, now I can be the morning entertainment too, Austin thought as she forced a smile to her lips. "I argued with a tree root coming up through the sidewalk. It won."

"Let me help you Ma'am!" Tiner offered nearly knocking Austin off her feet in his rush to try and help.

"Whoa Tiner!! You want to help the lady, not hurt her more!" Gunny snapped rushing up just in time to keep Austin from falling.

"You're right Gunny, I'm sorry Ma'am. Can I get you another chair or a pillow or something so you can put your leg up?"

"I'm fine Tiner, really."

Loren Singer sniffed, keeping her opinion of Austin's fitness to herself. How ridiculous to come to work when it was obvious that she wouldn't be any good to anyone. Obviously she'd just come in for the sympathy she could get.

"Well, well, well: I see you weren't just trying to sleep in this morning Miss Bradford," AJ commented as he entered the bull pen, prompting Gunny to yell.

"Attention on deck!"

"At ease, at ease everyone," AJ ordered. "You could have taken the day off."

"I'm fine really my pride suffered the worst injuries anyway."

"Very well. If you need anything at all just buzz Tiner. He'll be at your disposal today."

"If he's not around, just call me. I'll be in my office all morning doing paperwork," Sturgis Turner said patting Austin's shoulder gently.

Victor bit his lip watching as several other people offered Austin assistance if she needed it. Not that it was logical, but he wanted her to depend on him. He wanted to be her white knight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2100 Zulu
Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia



It's been one hell of a day, Austin thought to herself as she rested her neck against the arm of her sofa staring at the ceiling above her. Her knee was throbbing and her patience was nearly gone.

The sounds of someone moving comfortably around her kitchen made her lift her head and purse her lips while her brow wrinkled in thought. Victor: what was she going to do about him?  About them?

He'd betrayed her, and not just once from what she understood. One time would have been understandable, Austin would have forgiven that with no difficulty. This though, knowing it had happened more than one time and that people she had to work with everyday knew what had happened still rankled.

Her dinners with Clayton Webb had revolved mostly around discussions of what had happened in Afghanistan. Austin had demanded to know what had been written about the incident in his reports and Webb had done his best to assure her that no names had been named. Austin didn't know if she believed that or not, just as she didn't know why she'd ever agreed to let Victor make her dinner.

You need to talk to him. You need to demand that he tell you what happened and you need to see his face while he tells you. If there's no remorse there you need to know even if it will be like pouring salt in a gaping wound, Austin counseled herself rubbing her hands over her face. She was too old and too tired for this. Maybe when she'd been in her teens this sort of thing would have been doable, now all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and close it after her, effectively shutting out the rest of the world.

"Here you go Austin...some tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, just like you wanted."

Austin watched him set the tray down on the coffee table in front of her and smiled faintly. "Sit down Victor...we need to talk."

Victor's smile froze and he took on the look of a deer trapped in the headlights. "We don't have to do this now Aus. I know you aren't feeling well."

"It's not going to get any better Victor," Austin pointed out in an acid tone. She had been thinking about this all day and several things were bothering her to no end. The biggest was that Victor had never actually admitted that he'd made a mistake. The words had never crossed his lips in her hearing. She intended to put an end to that or throw him out of her apartment.

"Okay," He dragged the word out hoping she would change her mind as he lowered himself into the armchair near the sofa.

"I need to talk for a few minutes Victor and I need you to really listen. When I'm done you can have your say," Austin warned clenching her hands together.

He only nodded.

"I don't understand why you did what you did Victor. I don't understand what it is that I didn't do for you that made you think it was okay to be with that woman. Did I do something wrong?" Austin paused for a breath letting her words hang in the air for several long seconds while she thought.

"I feel like such a fool. I thought you cared for me, that we had something real and true, but that's not possible. God Victor, why the hell did you do this to me? To us?" She demanded with tears choking her voice just a little.

"No Aus-god no-you didn't do a thing wrong. I made the mistake. I made the biggest, worst mistake of my life."

"You did," she affirmed softly.

"I don't know Austin, I don't know if I can even find the words to explain this to you. Hell, I don't understand it myself, not completely," Victor got out of the chair and moved to the coffee table in front of the sofa, moving it out of his way, wanting and needing to be closer to Austin.

"You need to try Victor. No matter how it hurts I deserve to know the truth about what happened. I know what Clayton told me, but I want to hear it in your words. I want to know your thoughts and feelings."

"Did Webb tell you that he encouraged me to get closer to Fareeza? That he knew she was a scholar and that she could be important as a go-between?" Victor spat venomously.

"Yes he did, but Victor-" Austin paused gathering herself "Clayton never told you to sleep with her."

"No--no he didn't do that," Victor sighed wearily dropping his throbbing head into his hands. "I made that mistake on my own."

Austin's hand reached out to stroke his short dark hair nearly touching him before she froze her eyes widening. Why did she want to comfort him? He'd hurt her, not vice versa.

"This is all going to sound like an excuse Austin, like I'm just trying to cover my ass or something. I swear to you now though that I am not trying to justify what I did."

She did allow her hand to fall into his hair then, gently massaging his scalp through the short sprigs of dark hair.

"How can you touch me Austin? How can you even stand to touch me?" His voice was pleading and he sounded so lost it hurt to listen to him.

"I care for you Victor. No matter what else I care about you and I love you, even now despite what you did, I love you. You have so much power over me because of that I don't think I can ever let you close to me again. I wasn't lying when I told you you nearly destroyed me."

"Please Aus...no more..."

"You need to know Victor. You need to know what could have happened," Austin answered firmly moving her hand away from him to wrap her arms around her middle. "I got out everything in this apartment that I could have used to kill myself. I was so numb inside except for this deep, deep pain where my heart was that I couldn't imagine anything that would be worth living for. I sat all night at the kitchen table in front of pills and razor blades...anything I had that would allow me to escape."

"Please stop," he choked out his plea as he turned pressing his face against her leg.

"Harriet and the Admiral came the next afternoon. I'd all ready decided I had to live because I'd never been a quitter before, but I didn't have the strength to put everything away. I just lay down here and finally went to sleep. Harriet saw everything on the table and it scared her, the Admiral too, though he didn't come out and tell me that."

"I can't let you wield that sort of power over me Victor. I can't let you hurt me like that again. I can't let you hurt my friends that way. I made Harriet c-cry...I won't let that happen again, ever."

"I love you Aus...please...I love you so much. I love you, I love you..." He whispered the words over and over again letting all the horror and fear he'd been ignoring and forcing out of his awareness ever since he'd arrived in Afghanistan flood him, making his body shake forcefully.

"Then tell me why...talk to me Victor," Austin crooned softly as her hand moved of its own volition back to stroke the back of his neck. "Tell me if she was really what you wanted."

"N-no," Victor lifted his face swiping his arm across his eyes to clear away the tears. He didn't have the right to cry in front of Austin now. "She was...this sounds so damn crass, but she was: there."

"I missed you so much Aus, it was like a physical thing. I would go to sleep at night thinking of you...of our last night together, I could feel your head on my shoulder, smell your shampoo just like I did that night. I'd dream you in my arms and then wake up alone on that filthy pallet. Dammit Aus, I'm a Marine and I'd wake up and want to cry."

"And the death...I've never seen anything like it. Seems like every time I went out on patrol I'd see another body or hear a story...I tried to shut it out and not think about it. I tried so hard to hold on to your memory and what we had, but you were so far away. I felt like my heart was being held together by this piece of string or something and you were holding one end of that string and every second I was away from you I was being pulled apart just a little bit more. Nothing that would show on the outside, but I could feel it. When my CO told me Admiral Chegwidden had called and you were in the hospital I almost convinced myself to go UA. I needed you Aus, I needed you so much it scared the hell out of me."

He paused the words drying up suddenly his eyes boring deeply into hers trying to read her emotions and feelings. He saw the sheen of tears and some small spark of hope that his actions hadn't quite managed to put out.

"Take your time Victor..." Austin whispered caught up by the pain in his eyes. He wasn't lying to her, his heart was on his sleeve and in his eyes. She'd convinced herself that she wouldn't open herself up to him again, but the walls around her heart were crumbling as he poured his heart out at her feet.

"It's okay Aus...it hurts to tell you all this, but it feels good too, you know?"

"It's a relief I imagine...I would hope it doesn't feel good."

"Yeah, a relief...you're the one who's good with words, not me," Victor sighed leaning his head against her leg again. "I met Fareeza in the village closest to the prison camp. She was different from the start. I told you before Webb told me to get closer to her, and that's true, but Aus I can't lie and tell you I argued with him. I told myself it was just part of the job."

"I hope you don't ever have to go into combat. It's like what I imagine hell is like. I was tired, scared, so damned lonely I couldn't even think straight...about the only thing that kept me going was you. That picture Harriet gave me from the JAG-a-thon of us...that smile on your face. God baby, I could lose myself in that picture so easily."

Victor stopped speaking again, he'd never imagined or counted on the flood of emotion sweeping over him. Some things he'd never thought about before while he was in the situation were becoming entirely too clear to him now. He pushed away from Austin abruptly, climbing to his feet to pace as his mind worked.

Austin watched holding her lower lip between her teeth. She wanted to put her arms around him and just hold him until that look left his face, even though she knew how important it was that they talk this through completely. Not that it was going to change her mind. She'd decided what she wanted.

She wanted him. God help her, she wanted Victor Galindez. The rational part of her brain cringed at the very idea of letting him back into her life knowing her feelings for him left her open to the worst pain imaginable. Her heart wouldn't let him go pain or no pain, she'd take her chances. She wasn't going to tell him that though. She didn't want to influence him in any way.

Austin glanced at the wall clock. Dear god, it was midnight and things didn't seem to be anywhere near finished between them. She considered interrupting Victor and sending him home for the evening, but she knew she wouldn't do that. They were going to finish this tonight even if it took until the sun rose.

"It's getting late Austin, maybe I should just go and we can finish this later."

"No Victor, we have to finish it now. I can't just let this go."

"Are you sure?" Victor asked in concern. Her fair skin was looking sallow and he could see the beginnings of dark circles under her eyes.

"Positive...come sit," Austin ordered nodding to his former spot on the floor.

"You asked me if I loved her...the answer was no. It wasn't about love: it was about using someone. She used me for safety and supplies. I used her to keep from losing my humanity completely. There was never love, mutual need maybe, but never love."

"I'd gathered that by now Victor. You aren't the type who could have let someone's death go so easily, not if you truly cared."

He nodded feeling like finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Austin was going to forgive him. "This doesn't excuse what I did, but there were other guys in my unit who took up with village women. Like they were building families over there to replace what they were missing from here."

Austin nodded. "From what the Admiral has told me that's a normal reaction. Death surrounds you all the time and you need to carve out a little niche for yourself with some peace in it. You found Fareeza."

"But Aus, she...she was never my future. Even when I was with her I thought of you, made plans for my future with you. I can't even count the number of nights I dreamed about you and I having kids. A little girl with your big hazel eyes and hair and a little boy who could follow me into the Corps."

"Whoa Victor...I'm deciding whether or not I can trust you with my heart. I'm not ready to even consider carrying your babies."

His gaze dropped to the floor again. "I'm sorry, it's just...I don't know."

"Talk to me Victor: you can't hold back any of this. You know that. It needs to all be out on the table," Austin reminded firmly.

"What else is there to tell?"

I need to know more about Fareeza. What was it that drew you to her in the first place? Was it just Clayton's suggestion?"

Victor shook his head while rubbing the bridge of his nose. "She was so hopeful, you know...in the middle of all that death and destruction she was so convinced it would get better and that she was going to be one of the ones to make it better. I think I even convinced myself I cared about her so I wouldn't feel guilty for being with her."

He stopped his body stiffening at the idea that had just surfaced in his mind. "When she died...I cried a little...not for her though, but because Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb were there and they heard me defend her and they knew I had betrayed you. When I saw her dead under that tarp all I could think was that I'd just ruined the best relationship I'd ever had: my relationship with you. You're going to hate me if I tell you this..."

"Just tell me," Austin prompted softly.

"A part of me was glad she was gone. I even remember thinking while Colonel Mackenzie was telling me that I had to tell you that it didn't matter anymore, she was gone. There were no more entanglements."

"Oh Victor...Please tell me you really don't feel that way...please!" Austin gasped in horror pushing away  from him drawing her right knee up to her chest.

"I don't...I didn't then...at least not for more than a minute. She used me for her own gains, but then she never lied about that either. I was the one who wasn't honest. But I told you what I'd done. Colonel Mackenzie was right: lying to you wasn't an option any longer."

"I wish you'd lied to me for a while longer," Austin sighed leaning her head against the back of the sofa.

"I couldn't Aus, I just couldn't."

"So, what do we do now?" Austin queried wearily.

"You let me tuck you in bed first off. You're beat and I shouldn't have let you talk me into doing this tonight. You need rest so your knee can heal," Victor sprang to his feet and leaned over the sofa drawing Austin's pliant body close to his chest as he lifted her.

"I can walk," She whined the protest even as her head dropped to his shoulder.

"I know you can, but right now you're so sleepy I'm afraid you might trip and hurt yourself more."

"We need to talk more," Austin tried again as he put her gently in the middle of her bed.

"Not tonight Querida...all you need to know is that I love you more than my own life and I will walk through hell to make things right with you," Victor murmured pressing tender kisses to her forehead.

He drew the blankets and comforter up over her watching as Austin drifted to sleep and the tense, worried look eased from her face. She rolled to her side away from him, mumbling and sighing softly in her sleep and he reached out to brush his fingers through her shoulder length dark brown hair.

It looked good longer, not that she hadn't been beautiful with short hair, but there was just something about long hair he liked.

Victor sat watching her sleep for another hour before his own weariness made him rise and walk through the apartment checking all the windows before he penned a brief note and grabbed his jacket letting himself out.

                                 Dear Aus,
                                        I want you to know how much I love you.
                                 I hope you will at least think about giving me
                                 another chance. I know there are still more things
                                 for us to talk about...and I want to talk about them
                                very soon. This Marine knows what he wants my love:
                                he wants you.
                                                                                        Te Amo
                                                                                              Vic

**************************************************************

1200 Zulu

Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia...



"Mmm," Austin sighed and slid her hand across the bed part of her expecting to encounter another body. She lifted her head from the pillow whimpering in frustration when she realized that she was alone. Sleeping with Victor last night would have been one of the worst things she could have done, but Austin wished that it had happened anyway>

"I'm horrible," she commented to the cat snuggled against her side purring mightily. "I don't know if I can trust him or not and all I want is him in my bed."

Daisy opened one green eye a slit and yawned before ducking her head under a paw.

"You are no help. C'mon lazy cat...let's get you fed. I have to be at SecNav's office by ten this morning."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Same time
Dunkin' Donuts...



"May I help you?"

Victor looked down from the menu smiling faintly at the older woman. "Yes...a large French Vanilla with extra cream and a large regular, black."

"Sure."

He allowed his mind to wander while his order was filled rocking back and forth slightly on his heels. God, he was tired. Victor had spent his night in the armchair again, this time not even making a pretense of being asleep. He'd watched out his living room window as dawn colored the sky thinking about what he still had to say to Austin.

Having taken the call for her he knew of her appointment that morning with SecNav. He didn't want to talk with her before that since he thought the things he still wanted to say might possibly upset her, but he wanted to at least see her. Plus Victor knew from experience there was no quicker way into Austin's heart than through coffee.

There first date had been a trip to Starbuck's after the Admiral's Memorial Day barbecue, after all.

"Here ya go...that'll be $3.72 doll."

"Thanks, keep the change," Victor said lifting the two cups after he'd laid a five on the counter. He got into his car, putting the cups in the cup holders before starting the car and pulling out into traffic on his way to Austin's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1230  Zulu
Austin's Apartment
Rosslyn, Virginia



She'd just stepped from the shower and wrapped herself in her old chenille robe when Austin heard a knock at her front door. She picked up the brace she'd removed for her shower fitting it carefully over her left knee, tightening the Velcro closures until the brace was holding the joint in the proper position. It didn't ache as much at the moment as it had, but Austin was sure that would change before the day was over.

She limped to the door looking through the peephole surprised to see Victor.

He listened to the rattle of the dead bolt turning letting a welcoming smile bring his dimples into view as the door eased open and Austin's head appeared around the opening.

"Morning Aus...I thought you might like some coffee. French Vanilla with extra cream: your favorite."

Austin smiled gripping the doorknob as her insides turned to jelly at the smile Victor was directing at her. He had killer dimples when he smiled and his entire face lit up. "Why don't you come in...I need to go get dressed, but if you want to come in for a bit that's fine."

"Sure," Victor answered wondering what she was wearing under the robe. He got his answer a moment later when she bent over to push her fluffy black cat away from the open door opening her robe so he could see the enchanting curve of one breast.

"I'll be right back out," Austin mumbled flushing pink as she straightened and realized what he'd seen. She tugged the top of the robe closed and limped toward the bedroom.

"Don't get dressed on my account," Victor whispered to himself as she moved off leaving him with the cat.

Austin heard the theme for ZNN and rolled her eyes. Why did he always insist on watching the news? Lord knew he'd be hearing and seeing it all day in the Bullpen, you'd think he'd want something entertaining when he wasn't at work.

Not my Vic, Austin thought as she dug out a pink lace bra and matching bikini panties slipping into them after she let her robe puddle at her feet.. He'd watch ZNN 24/7 if he could.

She took a seat carefully on the edge of the bed, removing the brace again so she could slip on the thigh high stockings she wanted to wear. Something about going to SecNav's office without something covering her legs seemed wrong.

Austin bit her lip as she lifted her left leg slightly to pull the sheer nylon over her foot. "Ow," she wailed when she slipped forward a little on the bed forcing her injured knee to move.

"Aus!?"

"I'm...I'm okay...really...no need to..."Austin looked up to see Victor in the doorway his brow furrowed in worry.

"Let me help you," Victor croaked, barely able to breathe at the sight of her in the pink lace ensemble. He cleared his throat and moved into the room kneeling in front of her. "Put your foot on my thigh."

Austin did as he directed biting her lip as his fingers caressed hers and took the stocking easing it up over her calf and gently past her knee before he smoothed it over her thigh. "Oh," she moaned softly.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked in a hoarse voice refusing to meet her gaze. If he looked up at her now he was going to lose his last ounce of self-control.

"N-no...it's not...I'd just forgotten...your...touch," Austin mumbled nearly incoherent with the warmth flooding her belly.

"And I'd forgotten how smooth your skin feels," he answered back bending his head to press a kiss to her inner thigh through the nylon. "We'd better get that brace back on."

Austin nodded forcing herself to let go of the desire she was feeling telling herself now was not the time of place for that. There was still so much they needed to work through. She handed Victor the brace watching as he fit it carefully over her knee, adjusting it swiftly and competently.

"Thank you...I-I think I can handle it from here," She murmured when he was finished and looked up at her.

"Let me kiss you Aus," Victor begged softly sliding her left foot off his thigh and straightening bringing his face within centimeters of hers.

"We...shouldn't..."Austin protested reaching out to put her arms around his neck and draw his lips to hers.

His lips were rough against hers, the skin still dry from his time in Afghanistan and the hands that moved up to cup her face were more callused than she remembered.

"I-I'm sorry Austin...I promised myself I wouldn't do this...I wouldn't give in to this until we'd finished talking," Victor ground out as he tore his lips from hers leaning his forehead against hers eyes squeezing shut involuntarily at the tightness in his pants.

"It's okay Vic...really...we do still have to talk...but dear god...the way you kiss..." Austin breathed raggedly.

"I'd better let you get dressed. I can drop you off for your meeting if you want. I cleared it with the Admiral to be your chauffeur today, if you want me."

"That would be nice...I should be ready to go in a half hour or so. And with the traffic we just might make it."

Victor chuckled and nodded ruefully. "Yeah...I keep forgetting what the traffic can be like here...in Afghanistan a traffic jam was a herd of goats in the road." He pushed to his feet sucking in a deep breath.

"I think we should talk again tonight Vic. It's Friday after all and we can talk as late as we want to and not have to worry about getting up for work in the morning."

"I'm all yours Austin...all yours," Victor promised giving her a meaningful look before he went back to the living room.

*******************************************************

2000 Zulu
Victor's Car
Outskirts of Rosslyn, Virginia



Victor turned the radio on as he drove risking a quick glance at Austin as he adjusted the volume. She'd been quiet most of the drive from the city offering only brief one-word answers to his attempts at conversation.

Austin smiled faintly at the song that poured from the speakers. "True Companion" by Marc Cohn had long been a favorite of hers and the strong sentiment of having one perfect love  expressed in the song always made her misty-eyed. She wanted someone to love her that much and for a time she thought she'd found that person. Now she just didn't know. Was she the consolation prize in this? The one Victor turned to because the woman he really wanted was gone?

"You're awfully quiet Austin. Are you in pain?" he queried.

Emotional pain maybe, Austin thought raising a finger to her lips so she could hear the song. She didn't want to talk now, her throat was aching with a need to cry and tears were stinging the corners of her eyes.

Victor sighed frowning as he let the music fill the car finally paying attention to the song. Nice sentiments...but what's the chance she's going to want to be my girl in white? he wondered.

The song ended and another started right after it, prompting Austin to reach out and snap it off letting a muffled sob escape before she could mask it.

"Austin, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm just so tired..." she hiccupped letting her tears fall. "...and th-that song...True Companion...it's what I always wanted for...myself."

"You can have that Aus," Victor promised gliding to a stop by the sidewalk in front of her building.

"HOW??" she demanded tearfully. "I-I can't be second best...I won't be the consolation prize."

"The consolation-?" Victor asked in a puzzled tone as he turned the vehicle off. "Aus-honey, you aren't making any sense."

Austin bit her lip, staring hard at her hands which she'd folded in her lap, screwing up her courage forcing the tears back. "I mean I can't do this with you Victor. I can't be second best."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...wait a minute," He turned to face her. "Were you there last night when I told you I never really loved Fareeza? That even when I was with her I was thinking of you?"

"I heard you say it...but how do I know you meant it?"

"Christ Austin!" Victor exploded losing control of his temper. "Why the HELL would I say something like that if I didn't mean it??"

"I don't know why you'd do it, but until you left I wouldn't have thought you'd ever betray me either. Now I don't know what to think."

"Okay, I deserved that. I'm sorry I lost my temper Austin...why don't I help you in and then I'll leave you alone."

"I thought we were going to talk," Austin mumbled in a small voice.

"I want to talk, but I don't know if now if a good time for it," Victor sighed.

"If you do care and you do really want me in your life you're going to need to deal with the fact that you hurt me and there are consequences to that. Losing my trust is one of them."

He blew out a deep breath and nodded before climbing out of the car.

They went silently to her apartment Victor keeping his hand on her back to steady Austin as she moved. Once they were inside he took her coat, hanging it on one of the wall hooks before loosening his tie.

"Would you like some coffee or tea? I have some soda too," Austin offered playing the good hostess in spite of herself.

"Coffee's good...I can make it."

"Lord no!" She cried "I'll be awake and shaking for a week if I drink the sludge you refer to as coffee."

"My coffee is not that bad! It's nowhere near as strong as the Admiral's and unlike Tiner, I remember to use a filter every time," He teased back grinning at her. He was glad the tension of just a few minutes ago had eased. It was understandable that Austin needed reassurance, but after their kiss that morning he'd thought it was pretty clear that he was still hers.

"You do have a point there," Austin conceded. "Still...I'll do the coffee."

"Okay," Victor shrugged toeing off his shoes. "Wish I had something here to change into."

Austin turned from her trek to the kitchen blushing. "Umm...well...you-ah do. I couldn't part with your favorite gray t-shirt and a pair of your sweat pants when I was packing your stuff."

"I wondered where that was. I didn't see it in that box you left on my bed."

"I wore it to sleep in a lot in the first few weeks after you went to Camp Lejeune. It still smelled like you."

"I'm glad you kept a few things and for more reasons than just because this uniform isn't all that comfortable."

"I couldn't let you go completely Vic...I guess that makes me a fool."

He closed the distance between them and put his arms around her waist holding her loosely while he bent his head to kiss the top of her head. "It makes you the woman I love Aus: the only woman I have ever loved completely."

Her forehead dropped against his chest and she turned her face so her ear was pressed against his chest letting the soothing beat of his heart lull her.

"I'm going to go change."

"Okay, I'll make the coffee."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2230 Zulu
Austin's Apartment...



After her outburst in the car Austin didn't feel as much of a need to talk as she thought she would. It felt better to be sitting on the sofa with her feet resting in Victor's lap letting him rub them and flip through the channels on her TV.

"Feel like talking?" Victor asked as he kneaded the sole of her right foot.

"We should I guess...but this is nice."

"I agree, but just because we're talking doesn't mean it can't be nice too. I'm sorry I got angry with you earlier: you have every right to ask questions like you did in the car."

"I wanted to tell you about what it was like over there if I can," Victor said hesitantly.

"I'm a good listener."

"I told you it was sort of like Hell, but I was wrong: it was Hell. I couldn't sleep last night when I went home because every time I close my eyes I see one of the guys I served with being killed. Do you have any idea what it's like to see a guy you just had chow with killed by sniper fire? We were talking about his wife and kids back home one second and the next he was bleeding to death in my arms. And that didn't just happen once...once I could have dealt with...but it kept happening to guys I knew and had just been talking with though Rogers was the only one who bled to death while I was right there. One poor kid got killed taking a leak."

"And Bud lost his leg trying to keep a little boy from stepping on a land mine," Austin murmured.

Victor nodded. "I kept trying to tell myself I was a Marine, I needed to suck it up and forget that people were dying around me every day. I was there to do a job and I needed to do it, that was all I needed to do. It worked for awhile, but then it got to be too much. Even looking at the picture of you I carried around was painful. When I looked at it I knew that someone could take you away from me as easily as they shot my Marines and I would be just as powerless. Don't get me wrong, I've been in combat situations before, but this was different. Before it was just me: sure I worried about Mama and the girls, but not like I worried about you."

Silence settled over the living room for a time as they just studied each other's eyes from opposite ends of the sofa.

"I wanted something or someone in my life I could protect and keep safe. Then I met Fareeza. Like I said, she was full of hope and life. Not what you'd expect to meet in the middle of a war zone. Turns out I couldn't even protect her."

Austin held her lip between her teeth measuring her words carefully in her mind before she spoke. "I have to ask Victor: Did you ever once think of a future with Fareeza?"

"No, not once. My future was with you and I knew it. I didn't want Fareeza, truth be known she would have made me completely crazy. To her I was just a soldier: a mindless drone I think. I know you respect me and when I talk to you I know I'm being heard. She never made me feel anything but inferior."

"But you kept going back to her. That's so hard for me to comprehend."

He nodded. "I don't know Aus...I don't know what to tell you."

"It was war Victor: I can forgive what happened  for that reason, but I can't promise to forget and the trust won't be easy to rebuild. I don't want to lose you: that's the one thing I do know for sure. The one thing I've learned from seeing Bud and Harriet now and from watching Harm and Mac dance around each other is the importance of holding on to what makes you happy. Life is too short not to be enjoyed to the fullest."

"You're going to give me another chance?" Victor questioned hopefully.

"Yes, I am giving you another chance. It's going to be slow though and I don't make promises that there won't be days when I'll tell you to leave me alone. I just need for you to respect me enough to do that if I ask."

"Baby anything you need me to do I will do."

"I just can't shake the feeling that I'm just second best in all of this."

"If you were second best Austin I would still be over there fighting this war."

"I really believe that you mean that."

"Only because I do Aus..." He felt suddenly shy as he thought of telling her about what he had asked his mother before Christmas. She needed to know though. In some small way it might help to reassure her about her true place in his heart despite his stupidity.

"Awfully quiet Vic, what's going through your head?"

"Before Christmas...before all the mess started, I sent Mama a letter. I asked her for something of my grandmother's...her engagement ring, as a matter of fact. I wanted to ask you to marry me Austin."

"So that was why your mother showed me that beautiful ring," she nodded. It was all making sense. Teresa handing her the box showing her the simple diamond ring, convincing her to try it on and especially the older woman getting teary-eyed when she had put it on.

"Mama showed it to you?"

"She did. She even asked me to try it on. It was a little bit big."

"That's because you're too thin," Victor scolded sliding her feet carefully out of his lap.

"You sound just like your mother!" Austin groaned and rolled her eyes. "I swear I gained about 10 pounds when I visited."

"That's Mama, she shows her love with her cooking."

"And her words and actions. She adores you Vic, you're her baby boy," Austin commented scooting around awkwardly on the sofa so she could lean her head against his shoulder.

"She might adore me, but she's sure disappointed in me right now. She didn't say that to me though, just sighed and told me she'd pray for my soul after I told her. Maria, on the other hand, called me every nasty name she could think of and some she made up just for the occasion."

Austin didn't reply, just snuggled closer to him, nestling her head up under his chin while his arm encircled her shoulders.

"Are you sleepy? I can go if you want," he said softly into her ear, smiling when he felt her fingers anchor in his t-shirt.

"I want to cuddle."

"Permission to cuddle back?" Victor teased kissing her earlobe tenderly.

"Permission granted...Mmmm....are all Marines so good at cuddling?"

"Don't know Ma'am...I've never tried to cuddle one. Commander Rabb might be able to tell you that."

"Too much talk," Austin warned moving her hand up his face to press a finger against his lips. "Shh...just be here with me right now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1345 Zulu
Austin's Apartment

Rosslyn, Virginia...



Austin dimly heard the phone ringing from the depths of her dream and misinterpreted it as her alarm clock. She swept a hand out from under the blankets pushing the innocent clock to the floor mumbling in satisfaction when the annoying noise stopped.

"Good morning, Bradford residence. May I help you?"

The sound of his voice woke her up. Austin rubbed her eyes, pulling the pillow off her head to look around the room. She was in her bed and by the looks of it the other side of the bed hadn't been occupied. She could smell coffee though and something baking and she knew she'd just heard Victor's voice.

She lifted the blankets off herself enough to see that she was dressed in the night shirt she'd left hanging on the hook on the front of her closet door. Austin sighed thinking back: the last thing she clearly remembered was cuddling up against Victor.

She heard footsteps approaching and looked to the doorway expectantly.

"You are awake. Harriet is on the phone, do you want to talk to her?"

Austin held out her hand for the phone surprised when Victor kissed her gently before handing the phone to her. "Hello?" she stuttered watching him walk out of the room.

"Austin are you and Gunny back together?" Harriet squealed excitedly in her ear.

"We're working on it."

"Must be more than working on it since he answered the phone this morning."

"We talked for a long while last night and I fell asleep. I guess he must have too."

"That's great! I told you it would all be okay. Which brings me to the reason I called: Why didn't you call and let us know you'd been hurt? Harm was visiting last night and he said you'd torn your ACL and have a knee brace and you're going to need some PT."

Austin took the scolding silently, running her fingers through her hair to take out some of the snarls. "You're busy Harriet. You and Bud don't need to worry about me."

Harriet hmmphed in her ear and Austin listened as the phone was obviously passed to someone else.

"What's this about you getting hurt and not letting us know?" Bud's voice questioned. He sounded tired, but his tone was unmistakably teasing.

"Oh for goodness sake...I was being graceful and tripped over a tree root."

"You're just jealous because I get all this great hospital food."

"Darn, you figured me out," Austin laughed pleased that Bud was feeling up to teasing.

"Seriously though Austin: Harriet and I care about you. You've done so much for us since I came back and I know I haven't always been gracious about it."

"I care about you guys too," Austin answered brushing a tear from her cheek

"You make Gunny be good to you Aus and if he's not let him know I can still bust his six. I'm glad the two of you are going to work it out. You're good for each other."

"I think so too. Some really smart guy told me once that love isn't always easy, but it's always worth it," Austin teased again referring to an instant message chat she'd had with Bud right after Victor had told her about Fareeza.

"Take his advice...he sounds brilliant. Take care Aus, Harriet's telling me to stop hogging the phone here."

"Good grief...my husband talks more to you than he does to me!" Harriet complained with a laugh. "I'll let you go for now. I just wanted to scold you a little. Give Gunny our best and you guys should come visit soon."

"We will Harriet. Talk to you soon." Austin turned the handset off and got out of bed going into the bathroom to see how frightening she looked.

She emerged a few minutes later with her hair brushed and her bladder emptied then pulled on her robe before heading into the living room. She had no idea what Victor was cooking, but it smelled heavenly from the bedroom.

"You didn't need to get up, I was going to bring you breakfast in bed."

"Not you too...I'm not an invalid," Austin groaned taking a seat at the kitchen table.

"That thought never crossed my mind: I was thinking more about pampering my lady," Victor soothed setting a glass of fresh squeezed Orange Juice in front of her.

"That has some definite possibilities. You made cinnamon rolls?"

"Actually I went to that bakery a few blocks away and bought some after my run. I was just warming them up."

"So when did I so rudely fall asleep on you last night?" Austin asked reaching for a roll when Victor set the plate down on the table.

"About an hour after we started cuddling. You were pretty cute when I tried to put you down in your bed. You put your arms around my neck and whined about letting go, made me promise not to leave."

"I see you helped me change too," Austin commented watching a blush creep up his neck and face.

He nodded avoiding the topic. He'd spent most of the night on her sofa tossing and turning trying to get comfortable with an erection. Even now thinking about her naked body made him jump to attention.

Austin watched him shift in his chair and grinned to herself. It was nice to know she could make him squirm even when she was asleep.

"Did you want to do anything special today?" Victor asked wondering if his reaction to her would be obvious if he went to the freezer and emptied a tray of ice cubes down his pants.

"Nothing really comes to mind. It's a beautiful day for a hike or a walk in the park, but I don't think I'm up for either of those activities. Harriet did mention that she and Bud would like us to visit."

"We could do that...or you could. I'm sure you're about sick of me."

Austin got to her feet and went to stand by Victor's side nudging him to get him to push his chair away from the table. Sitting in his lap when he did.

"Hi there," he whispered huskily a smile curving his lips.

"Hey yourself Jarhead," Austin purred putting her arms around his neck.

"You've got some frosting on your-uh-lips,"

"Oh dear," Austin murmured pressing her lips to his. "I bet you could take care of that for me," she breathed between soft pecks.

"Aus-" the word was a groan and a plea as his hand cupped the back of her head holding her so he could kiss and nibble at her lips pushing his tongue gently in her mouth when she sighed wordlessly.

They parted, Austin moving one hand from around his neck to touch his face feeling the rough stubble of his beard, moving to the faint white line under his right eye.

"This is new," she commented leaning forward in his arms to kiss the scar.

"From some shrapnel. I was too close when a jeep blew."

"Oh...you know I kind of liked your hair a little longer. The high and tight is nice...but..."

"Want me to resign and let my hair grow?" He asked seriously. He'd come to the conclusion that he would do anything Austin wanted.

"No! I know how much you love the Corps. I wouldn't ask you to give that up!"

"I'd do it for you though Aus. Yeah, I love the Marines, but it's nothing to the way I feel about you."

"I think I'm beginning to understand that," Austin murmured settling into another kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several weeks later
0100 Zulu

Park
Rosslyn, Virginia...



The sun was setting leaving trails of pink and fiery orange in the night sky as Austin sat on a small bluff, her back against a tree watching it. She didn't often take the time to watch the sun set, but tonight she'd just been too restless in her apartment and she'd wanted to get out.

Things were going well with Victor. There were days she doubted him and his feelings for her, but he was gentle and patient giving her the space she demanded or sticking to her side like glue.

"I don't know who you were Fareeza Tarik. I know that you took advantage of Victor though. He was lost and hurting, searching for something to make sense in that place. You used that against him. He was a decent man, he would have done the right thing and helped your people anyway. I suppose I should hate you for using him like you did, but then he used you too. I feel sad for the both of you on that score. From what Victor has told me about you and what Mr. Webb shared with me I think you and I were similar in some ways. We're both passionate about our beliefs and we're not afraid to give our all to something that is important to us.

Victor's important to me. I love him. I hope that where ever you are now you have peace and happiness. I'd like to think you cared enough about Victor to want him to be happy at least, so I guess I'm sitting here talking to myself to let you know that he is happy...and that some of the haunted look is leaving his eyes. He still doesn't sleep well some nights, but he smiles more and the smile reaches his eyes now. So thank you Fareeza for keeping him safe for a time so he could come back home to me."

Austin finished talking as the sun finally dipped below the horizon. She'd been thinking for weeks about what she would say to Fareeza if she had a chance to talk to the woman. The things she'd just said had been rolling through her mind for a long while.

She pushed to her feet wiping the dried leaves from her jeans as she walked back to her car and the man leaning against the hood looking worried.

"Is everything all right baby?" Victor asked in concern enfolding her in his arms. She'd been distant and moody all day and when she'd told him she wanted to go to the park and watch the sunset he'd wondered why. It had hurt when she'd told him she wanted to watch the sunset alone, but he'd stayed with the car.

"It's fine sweetheart. I just needed to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? To who?"

He was confused Austin realized as she patted his cheek. "To the past my love. I needed to say goodbye to the past."

"Oh...that's good then. Do you feel better?"

"Much...now Marine...how about you take me home and show me some other things they didn't teach you in boot camp?" Austin growled nipping at his lower lip while her fingers tugged suggestively at the zipper on his jeans.

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am," He chuckled throatily slipping his hands up under the sweatshirt she was wearing, caressing her nipples through the soft lace of her bra.


                                             ~*THE END*~